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Thursday, December 10, 2009

Trials.

Youth/Junior World Team Trials. these are the races i have trained all year for. they seemed so far away at the beginning of the summer. well, i suppose they were far away at that time. but i guess it seems like just last week that i was thinking about how far away they were. and now, here they are. next weekend. 9 days. they are not far away anymore. summer and fall training went by so fast. back at the very beginning of summer training, i was feeling very confident in myself, in my shooting, in my training; all around confidence. i visualized myself making this team over and over again.  but as the races get closer, those feelings of confidence are beginning to...not dwindle, but be put in the back of my mind, and other, less important thoughts are coming to the front. its almost like now, i am visualizing myself not making the team, which is backwards, i know. nervousness, second guessing, doubt, thoughts of "well, what if i don't make it"...all things that should not be even in the general vicinity of my mind. normally, i wouldnt touch those thoughts with a - 39 and a half foot pppooollleee. :) but for some reason, i can't get them out of my head. going into these races, i need all the confidence i can muster. i need to be focused on my goal. this has been the centerpiece of my training all year long, and last year too, and i would be very disappointed in myself if i am the reason i don't make this team; if my thoughts are standing between myself and my goal. has anyone ever seen the move "the peaceful warrior"? if not, go watch it, and you will see exactly what i am talking about. my coach, my family, my teammates, they have done all they can do. now it is up to me to finish the process. 

i chose to write about this topic because i wanted to make it easier for all of you to see, and even for me to see, what my train of thought is like going into these races, and if it changes at all as the races get closer. i will make another post a few days before my first race, and write about what i am thinking then. and i will write a new post after my races are done, and see what i think about these thoughts now, and analyze them. i think this will help me become a better athlete, and i think it will be interesting for all you readers to see what my thought process is. i dunno. it might be kind of cool.  stay tuned. all that jazz. 
p.s. - check out my sweet slideshow in the top left corner. :)
p.p.s - i am definitely open to suggestions on what to write about. if there is anything that you want to hear about, just leave me a comment, and i will write about it.